Second Anthropology
Second Anthropology Dear Dr. Reinhold: “Torah teaches that when you arrive in heaven, God first inspects your kidneys. Like a bouncer, like a mechanic, like a record store clerk when you’re buying a Rod Stewart box set, he casts on you a critical eye and reads your kidneys where you stand. She learned that from the time of Shakespeare, kidneys were seen as the origin of conscience, a ruminating organ, the place where the first pulse of introspection begins. When looked at laterally, kidneys appear like faceless fetuses, buckled inward and tucked tenderly around their renal arteries and veins. One kidney is good (see: flicking white overcoat, compassionate smile, pat on the back, banana cream pie to be savored and shared with the neighbors) and the other evil (see: black leather faded brown, dry flicking tongue, exasperated eye rolls, rubbing woodchips in your hair, lighting a trashcan on fire). Together with the heart, they conspire, driving you toward whatever your inevitabi...